Worst mascot ever?

So, Manchild is in his senior year of high school, and we are getting all the “come study with us” college junk recruiting mail that I suppose is normal to get, at least in the US.

One piece caught my eye today, as it shouted in big, bold angry font that it is crunch time for future Bronchos to apply.

Upon searching the internet, I have come to learn that “broncho” is an alternate spelling for “bronco”. Broncos are poorly behaved horses, so why someone would want to be one of those, I don’t know. Maybe some people see it as wild and free, but I see it as a large, bucking, kicking, angry version of an unhousebroken chihuahua.


This horse clearly needs Cesar Milan. Bad bronc(h)o!

Still, that makes much more sense than my first thought when I read “bronchos”. See, “broncho-” is one of the combining forms for things pertaining to the bronchi, like in “bronchoscope”.  A bronchoscope is always a device to look at bronchi, and never a device to look at pissed off horses, unless it’s to look at the bronchi of pissed off horses. The more you know, right?

Anyway, I read that, and started trying to figure out what the bronchomascot should look like. The closest I could come was this, only with legs, and this isn’t a good mascot at all.


Now I’m trying to come up with enthusiastic “go team!” type slogans for my version of their mascot. This should take me awhile. I’m learning that very little rhymes with “pulmonary function”.

Speaking of pulmonary function and learning things, I have figured out that Phil Collins wasn’t singing about some drowning when I heard “In the Air Tonight” playing on the radio a few days ago. It took me a few days to decipher the meaning, but now I know the “it” that was in the air that night was actually the flu virus. Oh lord…oh lord.

In other, simpler terms, I have the flu. It’s probably not the swine or avian flu. It’s probably a flu from a jerk horse, because that’s how my life goes. Please feel free to fawn over me in the comments. I’ve been waiting for you to do it all my life…

Oh lord.

Okay, Im done now. I am writing this here to remind myself that writing while feverish probably amuses no one. Im such a son of a b…ronco that way.


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