Rattus norvegicus is so hot right now.

The hottest new friend right now is the rat. From being the stuff of nightmares to being Pixar’s beloved chef, these little guys have gone all out. Rats have everything: deep orange teeth, kleptomania, a penchant for peeing when they get too excited, and weird toes.

Weird toes?

Yeah, you know how a foot is too long and too skinny all at once and you use it to climb denim and skin? That.

Thanks, Stefon!

So yeah! I am petsitting this summer for Batman’s class rat, Seymour. He’s chunky. He’s sassy. He will shank you for a piece of banana. Obviously, he is my new best friend.

Seymour the magnificent!

Seymour just spent half an hour licking my hands, then fell off my lap, wrestled with my foot, then climbed back up my leg to keep licking me. My hands are never clean enough to meet up to his exacting ratty standards, but he keeps trying to help, and I deeply appreciate that.

Anyway, this post is basically to say the following two things:

1) if you find yourself looking for a sweet little friend who might steal your rings and your heart but is otherwise really easy to take care of, please consider a pair of rats. A lot of folks prejudge them, but they deserve a second look. Kinda like I did when you first met me, and you did when I first met you… or something. You know the after school special type point I’m trying to make here.

2) Seymour will be my muse and/or co-author on this blog for the time being, which means it’s back! He romps around and hoards Cheerios while I sit and watch him hoarding Cheerios, and I feel like my staring is making things awkward between us. I’ll now be blogging to keep my creepy-starey factor to a minimum. It’s best that way, don’t you think?

And then he can fish for his Cheerios in peace.

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